Today is one of the hardest days in foster care. Our adorable little baby T was moved to a new home, and we had to say goodbye.

The number one reason that our friends have not gotten involved in foster care is for days like today. Saying goodbye is hard. It hurts…a lot. We have lost a child that was in our home for a year.

When someone tells us they can’t do it because it would hurt too much, usually the next statement is “how do you do it?”

I thought there was no better day than today then to share how I deal with the pain of losing a child.

1) Walk through the pain: I don’t avoid the pain of the loss. I walk through it. I deal with it. I cry. I reach out to friends. Avoiding it only prolongs the pain

2) I am not alone: I know that I am not on this path alone. Kathy is here with me, I have amazing friends, and my family is by my side. I reach out to them, let them know what I’m feeling, and on really hard days (like today) I reach out a lot.

3) God knows what I’m going through: this is not a surprise to God. He knew exactly what would happen today, He knows how I’m feeling, He knows that I’m mad, He knows that I’m hurting, and I know that He loves me through it. I also know that He loves baby T more than I can even possibly imagine, and I know that He has a plan for her too.

Please pray for Kathy and I as we go on this journey together. We are grieving together, we are crying together, and we are also going to get out of it together.

PS – Please consider going into foster care, these kids need love more than you need to avoid the pain of maybe having to say goodbye.

This is the letter I put into Ana’s (Baby T) “Life Book”

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